--The Art Of Forgetting-- Update 8

I walked down the lifeless hospital hallways alone. There were nurses smiling at me when I passed by, and some elderly folk in wheel chairs rolled along. Other than that, completely lifeless. Hospitals in my opinion have always seemed depressing. They are a sign of death, and sickness. My past experience with hospitals is that nothing good happens. I stopped in front of a vending machine, and fished in my pockets for some change. All I had was a dollar, and I need twenty-five more cents for a bottle of water. Since I didn’t have any, I sagged my head and started to walk off, until some called.

 

“Miss?” I spun around to find a boy standing at me, his cheeks were flushed and he was dressed up in baggy sweats and black t-shirt. He had jet black hair, and hazel eyes. They were the most gorgeous hazel eyes I have ever seen. I walked towards him and he smiled, “Sorry to bug you, but I noticed you were short a quarter,” he handed me over the twenty-five cents I needed for the water, “here I want you to have it.”

“Thanks,” I took the quarter from his hand and popped it into the machine along with my dollar, and out from the slot came my water. I twisted the cap of and took a refreshing sip of water. “You have no idea how much I needed this.”

“No problem,” he smiled, “by the way my name is Dax.”

“Nice to meet you Dax, my name is Megan,” I gestured towards the bench, “would you like to sit with me?”

“Sure,” he and I walked and sat over on the bench.

“So how old are you?” I started the conversation.

“I’m nineteen; I turn twenty in the fall,” he laced his fingers together and looked over to me, “how old are you?”

“I’m seventeen,” I looked at the ground.

“Oh so you’re still in high school? How’s that going for you?” he laughed.

“It’s alright I guess...I’m looking forward to the fall, you know being senior year and all,” I smiled.

“I remember my senior year; you have a lot to look forward too. There is so much to do that year, with exams and all.”

“Yeah...” I nodded.

“So may I ask what you are doing here?”

“Oh...” I closed my eyes, “my boyfriend got into a car accident, and I just found out about it. As of right now he’s in the emergency room. We still haven’t heard from the doctors about his condition.”

“He’ll get better,” he put a hand on my shoulder.

“I hope,” tears fell on to my lap. I pulled myself together and managed to look back at Dax, who smiled warmly. “So what are you doing in the hospital?”

“I have cancer,” he looked away and stared down the hallway, “I have been here for four months now. My mom and dad don’t want me at home; they said that they rather have me here with all the doctors. I can’t blame them for worrying about me, but I miss home.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he looked back at me, “I have learned that feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t help you recover. I had felt sorry for myself for a month, and the doctors said my cancer was getting worse. After that month I learned to just accept it and move on, because maybe someday I’ll get better or maybe I won’t. I mean I’m still Dax. Nothing has changed about me, except that I have cancer that’s it. I still have a supportive family, and a girlfriend who I love. I couldn’t ask for nothing more.”

“I’m glad you think that way Dax,” I patted his arm, “not a lot of people do, and it seems so depressing.”

“Well Megan I just want you to keep your chin up. Have faith that he will get better. Maybe he will or maybe he won’t make it. Whatever the outcome is, you just have to accept it and move on,” he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “I have to be going now. I’m not supposed to be wandering the halls at this time,” he laughed.

“Can I walk you to your room?” I got up and stood beside him.

“Why not.”

Dax and I walked in silence to the end of the hallway. To the right of us was his room. He had a room to himself. He took a step forward and then turned around.

“Thanks for everything,” I took a step forward and gave him a friendly hug.

“Your very welcome Megan,” with that said he waved bye as I walked back towards the emergency room.

I turned the corner to find Nate sleeping on the bench. Mom and Mrs. Nicholson were still sleeping just the way I had left them. I walked over to Nate and put my hand on his. He faintly smiled and put his other hand on mine. I watched the handles on the clock go around and around. My eyes started to droop, I leaned against Nate’s shoulder and closed my eyes.

I was sitting in a white summer dress, in a field full of sunflowers. They wind was gently blowing and lifting my curls as it did. The scent of the flowers was every wear, and white petals were dancing with the wind. Off in the distance was a boy, he looked about my age. He was wearing a white dress shirt with washed denim jeans. His sandy blonde hair was a mess, but it suited him well. His blue sparkling eyes made me smile. When he caught my gaze he smiled and called my name.

“Megan,” he called. Instantly I recognized that the boy was Kale.

“Kale!” I called after. I ran through the field and he opened up his arms. I leapt into them and kissed him so hard. “Baby are you alright?”

“I’m fine. As long as I’m with you nothing is going to happen to me,” he squeezed me tight against him. When he put me down he placed his hand on my back and pulled me in closer. Gently he bent down and kissed my neck. I clasped my arms around his waist, and kept him so close to me. I wanted this feeling to stay and never leave. I didn’t want to wake up, not now, not when he was in my reach.

“Kale please don’t leave me,” I sobbed into his t-shirt, “please don’t let me be alone. I don’t know what I would do without you. Kale I promise you, if you leave me I will cry myself to sleep every night.”

“I won’t Megan I promise.” He kissed my forehead and grabbed my hand, “let’s go for a walk.”

We walked through the field hand in hand, telling each other how much we love each other. If only this wasn’t a dream I would believe it.

“Do you remember when I first met you?” he asked.

“Of course, I fell in love with you instantly,” I blushed.

“Me too...”

“Wait...what?” we stopped, and I stood in front of him with a goofy smile. “You fell in love with me when we first met?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he pushed back a piece of my hair. “You know Megan you’re beautiful. Your smile makes me wanna kiss you and keep you in my arms. When you talk I get lost in your words. Your laugh is like Mozart’s symphony. Honestly Megan any guy would be lucky to have you. Sometimes I think I don’t deserve you,” he lifted my hand to his soft lips and gently pressed his lips against my skin.

“You deserve me, because you’re a great guy. I am lucky to have you in my life Kale, I really am.”

“No I am not, I hurt you tonight. I don’t deserve you,” suddenly Kale started to drift away from me.

“Kale...” I extended my arms.

“I don’t deserve you...” he said in a whisper, “I love you Megan,” then he disappeared right in front of my eyes.

“KALE!” I woke up screaming. Nate quickly woke up and put his arms around me. “I need to see him! Where is he? Is he alright? Nate!” I buried my face in his chest and cried. That dream felt so real. It was like he was really talking to me. When he kissed me, it felt so real. But it was a dream...just a dream.

“Shhh,” Nate rocked me back and forth, “it was just a bad dream Megan. Close your eyes and go back to sleep. I will wake you up when the doctor’s have some news for us.

“It felt so real,” I said in a whisper. I looked up and Nate, “I don’t have a good feeling about today. I feel like something really bad is going to happen.”

“You’re just in shock. So why don’t you go to sleep?”

“I can’t, I’m afraid every time that I close my eyes I’m going to see him. I’m going to see him being taken away from me.”

The doctors finally came out of the emergency room. He was tall, and his hair was thinning out. He took off the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. Kale’s mom stood up with my mom’s hands on her shoulders. Mr. Nicholson and my dad got up from their bench, and walked towards the doctors. I shakily got up from the bench and out of Nate’s arms. He offered to walk to me towards them but I could do this. I had to handle whatever was thrown at me. I stood beside my dad, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. My mom took her free hand and laced her fingers through mine.

“Is he alright?” Mrs. Nicholson choked on the question. The doctor looked at her with sad eyes and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I don’t know how to put this in words,” he sighed, “but...I’m sorry your son is no more...”

I don’t know what happened but everything seemed to be going slower. Mr. Nicholson hugged his wife, while she bawled into his jacket. Both of my parent’s turned to me. My dad looked very worried about me, his mouth was moving but no sound was coming out. I turned to my mom; her eyes were filled with tears. She put both of her arms around me. Nate came from behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.

Suddenly my knees started to buckle, and the realization kicked in. My heart started to race, my legs and hands started to shake. Tears were constantly falling down my cheek. He was gone, he really wasn’t here anymore. My heart felt like it had been shot three times with a bullet and then run over with a semi, over and over again. My stomach felt like it had been turned inside out, and then acid was poured into it. I shook off my mom and brother, and turned around. I ran and ran. I didn’t know where my legs would take me but it had to be anywhere but here. Anywhere else, just not the place where my soul mate, my boyfriend, my best friend, my everything died. I covered my mouth to hold in the sobs, and sprinted down the hallway. Nurses and doctors tried to stop me, but I pushed past them. No one could make me feel better; no one could hurt me more. I was done.