-- The Art Of Forgetting -- Update 11

"What Breaks in a moment may take years to mend, only if we try to fix it one day at a time."

The next day I had decided it was time for me to step out of my bedroom and into a different room in the house. The next room that I find comfortable in the house is the basement. I walked out my bedroom door and hobbled down the stairs. Everyone in the house was gone today, Nate was at school, and mom and dad were at work, so that just left me alone.

I was in the middle of watching Oprah when the door bell rang. People had been coming over to the house a lot so I wasn’t really surprised to hear it ring. What did surprise me the most was the person standing behind the door. Standing in front of me was Brad. He was wearing a purple and light blue button down plaid shirt with denim shorts. In his arms he was carrying a fairly large cardboard box.

“Hey Brad, what brings you here?”  I asked as he walks through the door. I sort of felt misplaced with the way I dressed, and this was a first in a while. I was in my pyjama bottoms and UBC sweater, and my hair was a tangled mess of curls.

“Thought I would come check up on you,” he set the box down on the oak table in the foyer, “I know Addison hasn’t been checking up on you, and Nate told me the other day that you have been in your room for a while. I just thought you needed some company, so here I am.”

“Alright then...do you want to watch some T.V with me downstairs? I was just watching Oprah,” I sat down on the couch, and Brad followed bring the box with him. “So what’s in the box?”

“Something I thought you and I could look at,” he reached into the box and pulled out a DVD and a picture album. He walked over to the DVD player and stuck the disk in, and pressed play. On the screen before me was a collection of pictures and videos of Nate, Brad, Addison, Kale and me. Brad looked at me and smiled, and sat down next to me again. I opened the album and the first picture I saw was of the three of us. The three of us were sitting on a bench in a park. Kale was sitting in the middle and had his arms around our shoulders. Brad’s front teeth were missing, and my hair was short back then, and Kale had a goofy smile on his face.

“I can’t remember the last time the three of us hung out,” I laughed, “D-do you mind if I keep this picture? I don’t have many nice pictures like this of the three of us. “

“It’s all yours.”

Brad and I went through the album together and I pulled out lots of pictures that I wanted. While going through the album we watched the video. I couldn’t help but notice how goofy we were back then. It looked like we had so much fun, but as we grew older we grew apart. I couldn’t even recognize half the people we hung out with, until Brad pointed them out to me. During the video I laughed and cried.

I don’t know what exactly happened next but it happened all too fast. I was laughing at Addison who had cake all over her face in the video. She picked up the cake in her tiny hands and she threw it into my face. In the background Kale and Brad were laughing at us.

“Thanks for showing me this video, it really helped thanks...”

“No problem, I thought it would bring the smile back on your face,” I stared at his face for a long time, and looked into his eyes. Slowly he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. His hands slid up my back and he pulled me closer to him. I kissed him back, and pushed him on his back. I sat on top of him kissing him, and he didn’t stop me, I didn’t stop me. When I pulled back I looked at him and he smiling like this was alright. I got off of him and sat on the end of the couch; he leaned over and put his arm over my shoulder. I pushed it off and stood up and faced him.

“That shouldn’t have happened.”

“Why not? It felt right to me,” he smiled.

“Not to me,” anger filled within the pit of my stomach, “why did you do that? Why did you kiss me? This isn’t right! Just because your best friend is dead doesn’t mean you can move on to his girlfriend!” The front door opened.

“Megan chill it was just a kiss,” Brad put his hands on my shoulders and tried to make me look into his eyes, “no one has to know.”

“Don’t touch me.” I took a step back.

“Me—“

“I think it’s time for you to leave.”

“You’re such a bitch.” With that said he left everything behind and walked out the front door. Just when he left Nate come downstairs with not a clue of what just happened.

“Meggo?” I collapsed in his arms and cried. He gently stroked my hair and led to the couch. I rested my head in his laps. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I am worthless.”

Summer was slowly coming to an end, and I had realized that I haven’t visited Dax since the accident. Nate dropped me off at the hospital, and I made my way to his room. I crept in and saw him sitting on his bed eating soup while watching the hockey game.

“Let’s go Canucks!” he cheered has soup escaped from the corners of his mouth. I walked into the room and grabbed a napkin from a table across from his bed, and handed it to him.

“I think you need this,” I grinned.

“Megan!” he took the napkin from my hand and gestured me to come closer. He put an arm around me and squeezed my shoulder, “how have you been doing? How’s your boyfriend? I haven’t seen you in such a long time! I was afraid that I wasn’t going to see your face here again.”

“Hey Dax, I have been depressed lately after Kale’s death...though I am trying to cope with it but, nothing seems to work. I thought maybe you could help me get out of this depressing cycle, besides you always seem to make me feel more confident.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he reached out and took my hand, “why don’t you take a seat beside me, and watch the rest of the game with me?”

“Sounds good.”

Dax and I sat there cheering on the team, and booing the other. The Canucks were playing The San Jose Sharks, and it was three nothing Canucks. It felt nice to sit back and let myself go for once.

“Want to go out for ice-cream?” I asked.

“I don’t think I have been asked that for a long time you know?” he chuckled.

“Is that a yes?” I smiled.

“Just don’t tell my girlfriend,” he winked. We signed him out of the hospital and walked to the nearest ice cream shop. We both ordered ice cream and I paid for it, even though Dax said he would pay for his own. We fought over it for a while but I told him that he wouldn’t get his ice cream if I didn’t pay for it. We went outside and sat down on the curb.

“I love ice cream,” he said in between licks.

“Me too, so how long has it been since you had any?”

“Months.”

“Wow I don’t think I can live without ice cream,” I laughed.

“I really appreciate you taking me out for ice cream; my own girlfriend never does this with me, she is afraid that it would kill me or something,” he laughed.

“I haven’t been out for weeks so this is nice,” I watched a couple of girls walk out of a little corner shop with shopping bags in their hands, they threw their hair back and were laughing about something that only they knew about, “I miss hanging out with a friend.”

“Hasn’t anyone been spending time with you during this time?” he asked.

“Nope, it’s just been basically been me and my family. I love my family they have been very supportive, but sometimes certain feelings you can’t talk about with your family you know? Sometimes you just need a friend to help you sort yourself out.”

“Don’t you have any friends?”

“I thought I did. I mean ever since Kale died they have been ignoring me. It makes me feel like I am nothing without him you know? Like I am just another piece of ignored human flesh.”

“I know how you feel Megan. Since I was diagnosed with Cancer my friends have started to lose contact with me. I’m not sure why, but I sort of shrugged it off and kept going on with my life. Their loss not mine right?” he took a bite out of his cone, “besides I don’t need to surround myself with people who don’t even care about me.”

“You’re right.”

“And Megan...if you need a new best-friend I am always here for you okay? Whenever you need someone to talk to just drop by, “He put his hand on my shoulder, “I’m not saying this because you take me out for ice cream...ok maybe I am,” he laughed.

“You’re funny.” I bumped shoulders with him and we finished the rest of our ice cream cones on the curb.